Dark poems from the dark corners and corners. Those dark places that have no names or addresses in my psyche.
I’ve got George Powers
He’s bad.
So I keep him in the back.
In the dark passages of my brain.
He’s bad.
So it’s black where he lives.
Black and dirty and I don’t like it there.
So I don’t go there.
*
Sometimes George comes out to visit.
He’s bad so he doesn’t like the light.
So he doesn’t stay long.
He fantasies about the dark but here…
He likes to cut people.
It doesn’t matter how.
He likes to hurt people.
I’ve tried so hard to hold onto this one single dream.To recall and capture fully that feeling.It’s only the day after and already the detail is lost, corroded away by time. I could probably read it again but it’s left me alone and cold. I can do nothing. As the dream came of its own accord, it has left of its own accord.
It’s actually ironic. I gave Justine warmth, gave the dream life. The dream leaves me cold and takes life of its own, fleeing from my mind.
On losing the dream.
The city gurgles, throbs.
The city’s gurgling, throbbing heart
belches forth acidic hot
steaming shit.
A messy medley of noise, people
and earth-metal. Vomit.
*
The building
sunken in the granite ground
struggling to surge free.
Up on grey, lanky pillars.
*
In the seething crack
between the buildings hull
and the earth’s body
is the alley.
*
Overcast pipes cling stubbornly
to the stoney cement sick skin
of the building.
Embracing it, chaining it to earth.
Eating towards its fleshy
dusty innards.
*
Here’s where the worst of the city huddle.
Accumulates and is the unwanted.
People, things caught in time – this time.
They are filthy
and the city lives around them
on them.
They scratch cement from the city’s waste
and devour it.
*
Here where the building
breathes out hot, acrid air
through a gauzed throat.
An airy emptiness-hum.
On and on it empties its lungs
on and on…
*
The breath awakens a newspaper’s corpse
printed with old news.
Yesterdays.
It gets up,
rustled,
from the overcast cement
and runs across the alley
dying again at the other end.
Metal musicians plead
Here I am.
Leather smeared on their bodies
black as depression.
Suppression of the city’s people.
Only the city grows.
Lives in monstrous deformity
we and it wallow in its vomit.
It feeds
devouring
sucking out
the being
lifeblood
of its creators.
The vague
yet clear bare beauty
of her bone face and cadaverous appearance.
Her eyes as shadow at midnight.
The horrid beauty of her pale skeletal hands.
And in her nails sparks of the dark universe.
Her black silken hair
woven by the maggots.
Her head
crowned with the jewel
of the night.
*
The remainder of her decaying skin
is icy as snow.
Soft and delicate as milk.
The colour as wan as ashes.
Her garment tough and leathery
as wings of the bat
cloaks her body.
*
Neither the serpent nor the raven
has her beauty.
Yet she acclaims their sadistic cruelty.
Their greed for shining eyes
and the taste of sweet
delicate maidens ankles.
*
She rests upon the graves of men
and pauses within the vaults.
Weaving masterfully her mischaped garments
and throwing them to the spiders.
Tending beds of Deadly Nightshade.
Stroking both wolf and demon.
*
Caressing man
as she passes.
Agonizing and crippling them.
Then she kisses
with red smeared lips.
Crushing their breath
and creasing their hearts.
As only a perfect
Black Rose would.
Satan loved her
rendered her love cripple
shattered and sharp like broken glass.
I gave myself to her pool of shattered love
I was torn appart and bled my emotional blood
trying with all I had
to wade through her pieces
and put her back together
My love became broken and shattered all that while.
The Demon seeped into my wounds
I became Evil & Hate
for I loved her and couldn’t hold her together.
I was Hate
I was Evil
All around me became Hate & Evil
All around me was night.
*
All around me was night
an a slender hand
soft and fragile took mine.
She held me close
Without knowing
she put me back together
Piece by piece
Made me smile and feel
She led me back
gently by the hand to her world.
Now I’m no longer alone
scared of the dark.
There’s no more Hate or Evil
just fear for us.
The angels in my mind
so distantly calling.
The angels hold my hand
yet I keep falling.
*
My slipping soul
falling from grace.
My slipping soul
falling from it’s place.
My feeble mind
imagines a face.
It runs into nothing
I give chase.
*
The angels in my mind
hold me to their shallow hearts.
I’m trying to feel and die
I cannot navigate with these charts.
i’m trying so hard
to live and die.
Trying not
to live a lie.
*
Everything I feel
I cry.
Now when I feel
I sigh.
I’ve lost my soul
and my mind.
My feelings are numb
they’ve gone blind.
Everything seems so clear in the dark
When a cold wind blows
and the clouds rush eerie and swift
across the sky.
Singed with moonlight.
There’s a storm coming
*
There’s a strong will to die
a strong will to survive.
My nightmares come to visit creeping through the cracks
of my closed and barred door
Skulking in the blue shadows of my small and lonesome room.
*
There was spring, each touch new
There was summer, each touch warm and comforting
There was autumn, each touch reassuring yet fearful
Then winter, each touch painfully cold
Each touch yearning for warmth.
*
So I closed the door
Barricaded out the cold and held myself for warmth.
I hurt
Therefore I am.
*
Doomed always to be that one guardian angel
To hold and heal that broken-hearted sparrow
To be left holding my own shattered black heart
when the sparrow has flown
Fluttering-spluttering away
from my fearful frame
from my rusty barbed-wire halo
*
And again I dig my fingers into my fleshy chest
Tear out my heart to see if it still beats
to see if it’s still alive
or still.
*
It doesn’t hurt
I have no feeling
It’s not surprising…what I find
Black brittle heart-shaped coal.
It crumbles to bloody mud in my crushing hands
I try to be gentle…
I try…I do
but still it crumbles.
I try to hold it together.
Even a black heart of coal
is better than none at all.
*
I offer the bloody crushed heart
to anyone-everyone
but they turn and flee
in disgust, shame
but mostly fear.
*
Everyone fears what they don’t understand
I am no more human than a beast
They see me as an animal
a fleshy object
and uncomprehension breeds fear
and fear breeds hate
and hate breeds anger
and anger breeds fear
and fear breeds me.
So I became dark, faded and tarnished.
That angel in the shadows
always waiting
always silent
One hand always tentatively outstreached.
Hoping to touch the light
Hoping to open the door
to another spring
Wishing for a loving touch
Praying to a deaf God
for a new heart
for a lost hope
for the one he lost
to cruel fateful circumstance
created by a cruel, spiteful master
a cruel creator.
The Dragon of the night stirs and uncoils
in soft
timeless silence
It awakens and taints the horizon
in deep colours of sorrow
Begins slowly
to fly across the sky
on a tender
silent
darkening breeze.
*
Strands of sinuous smoke
rise from my cigarette
is taunted by the air
and torn apart
I watch all this
through my sad and hurt
deep blue eyes
My soul is crying
mortally wounded
In the comfort of
the Dragon of the night
*
The Dragon of the night
hides me in shadows
careless of my pain
The cold stars
twinkle in its eyes
on its scales
The silence is soft and hurtful
I’m dying
in the roots of my mind
In my soft mortal flesh
in the presence of the gentle
and distant
faint White Queen of Midnight.
*
I wail and cry tears of liquified soul
Deep fear, anguish and sorrow
I hurt
therefore I am
therefore I die.
*
I remember long ago
in ages lost forever
Forever is so long ago
forever is now
when I embraced
the Dragon of the night
and loved the Whan Queen
of the dark hours and they loved me.
*
They showed me
life and day
The Whan Queen graced me
yes she gave me grace and power
The Dragon of the night
loved me and cared.
He whispered to me words and emotions
in quiet solitude
in my empty mind
He helped me ride the storms.
*
I stand in the doorway
as a storm erupts
I stand as a crucified
as a damned
My hands on the frame
my head and hair hung down
The rain whips my back
and life humiliates…
Less than a god
More than a man
Nothing I do is right
Try as I can
*
It hurts when I try to feel
I try so hard
My doubts and fears punish me
for trying too hard
too much.
It’s just me
it’s my nature to be let down
kicked.
Spread my wings in glory
and fall
and crunch
and broken
and hurt.
I can taste my own blood.
Sweet
Bitter
Alkaline
*
Is this it?
My final destination?
To die in swampy mud?
In dispair?
Is this my nature?
*
I will kill myself by trying too hard.
Falling too much?
Or is it my nature
to kill ideas
feelings
even myself?
Am I simply
the guardian angel again?
Used and discarded
in grace
out of grace
In love
love taken back.
“I’m scared…
I’m affraid.”
I’m trying so hard…not trying at all.
And still I taint…feelings and company.
A lighter shade of black…sometimes.
I’m alone by choice?
By nature?
I’m affraid.
*
I try and still it’s wrong.
I touch and destroy a little
Hurt a little
Will I be alone again?
Oh, please let me die this time!
Will it last?
I would breath for her.
I’m so affraid
That she doesn’t know
Doesn’t feel
*
I feel so selfish on my own.
If I were with her would it hurt?
If I was alone would it hurt her?
Should I go?
To her?
Would I hurt her?
The frustration that could bring.
The pearls of tears.
The death of forever.
I’m so very affraid
of being without
of being within
of being.
Will it come to pass or will it pass?
I am so very affraid.
Day arrives
with a quiet sigh of life
Hills
The features of earth’s face
under a cold sun
The soft smell of winter air
The times I enjoyed
Drank deep from the cup of poison
of life
So far ago
So long afar
So lost
Friends I loved
Scattered and torn
by me
by them
by time.
*
The weekend night
When I saw
the love I might not have
When I saw
time in the night sky
She flew over and left us stranded
On our hills
In our valleys
Alone
and would it hurt?
Yes
Yes
Yes
and would I still long
and love
and see slow rain?
Yes
Yes
Yes
Would I cry?
No
The pain would tear me apart
spill my blood
The hate would hurt all the world
Sinking like grey rain
Poison from above
crawling like insects – in.
*
Crystal ships of blood
Float silently in the air
Cunning carpets
crawl across the floor.
Still longing
Still loving
Dead still
Still dead.
*
Toadstools twist in the twighlight
in the night
And I’m alone again
Not sorrowful
Not fearful
but cold and numb
and open
In my lonesome mind
in my lonesome skull
in my numb body
The curtain drops again
The parrody under the stars
begins again
and the actors: Me and I
tangle and twist in imaginary time
She touches me
Soft sensation
again
Soft tender sensation
again
A bullet to my brain
She’s awoken me
and I can see
and love
and cry.